This blog relates the real life adventures of a married couple in their 30's. We are happily married for more than 10 years and have chosen to open our marriage up to new sexual realities, including cuckolding, sissification and a wife led marriage. All while loving each other more each day. If this is not your thing it's OK but this may not be the place for you. If you enjoy it please feel free to leave a comment. If you have questions please leave those as well. It is written by both Goddess and sissy - sharing all our thoughts and feelings regarding the journey. All the pictures on here are taken by me or found on the web. If I found it on the web I assumed it was part of the public domain. If you see a picture that is yours and want it removed please let me know and I will remove it.

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Friday, June 30, 2017

Careful what you wish for.....

So things here had gotten pretty dry again sexually speaking. I had a guy I played a little with which helped but she was dry. Well recently she met someone. A guy in her circle of work friends. She Went after him and seduced him. He is married but she got him. They have played a few times but only fucked once. He has a nice cock, she really likes him sexually. As is the case in vanilla affairs it is complicated but she really likes him. They went out several times as friends before she got him to play. They have lots of passionate kissing when ever they go out but he is cautious so they haven't played a lot. She loves the passion and she is developing feelings for him.

Of course this all is very exciting but also causes a whole lot of angst. Vanilla always makes me more jealous but I know it's what she craves. I miss our bull, I miss sucking him, watching him fuck her. I have thought of him a lot. He texts her still and I think she would like being with him again but not soon enough for me. I want his cock in my mouth again! He is very sexy and manly. Now that I don't have a guy play friend I really wish he was closer and more interested in me pleasuring him. Of course him fucking me would be heaven but I don't think he will go that far.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

sissy play time

I played with a man a couple of weeks ago. It was the first time in a long time I have played alone with a man. He is new, we have been texting but had not met. Goddess was with me when he came over. She met him and talked. She had me remove my clothes revealing stockings and a thong. I knelt and took his cock out. I sucked him in front of her for a few minutes. She enjoyed watching and gave him a kiss but otherwise just watched. Then she left and I brought him to our bedroom. We played on the bed, he wanted to have me in our marital bed. I sucked him off and he came in my mouth. I swallowed of course like a good sissy. His cock was 7 inches or so, nice not huge. We relaxed then went at it again, kissing and him fingering me. He made me cum, I was not yet back in my cage. He wasnt supposed to but he wanted to so he did. It wasnt a big orgasm more of a ruined leaking one, frustrating for me - which I think he also wanted. I sucked him again and swallowed another load. He left feeling very satiated. Next time he will fuck me but I wasnt ready for it yet.

The cage arrived back after its adjustment. I am in it now for a few days. I miss being able to touch my penis. I love rubbing it in my panties or feeling her rub it or just feeling it rub against her at night. As she often says it is useless in pleasing her but I love being rubbed - very selfish of me. I am working on being a generous sissy, giving of affection and worship, showing goddess the attention she deserves, the cage helps me learn. Godees has told me I can have a spontaneous cum again if I like but it is very hard to do and most times I try i end up with no cum and even more horny and desperate - maybe she knows this which is why she leaves that for me. Or maybe she just loves the thought of me being so desperate that I can cum that way, my poor little penis lacking any real contact just oozing out cum in such a pathetic way. Losing the ability to cum when I want to is very hard for me, it was one thing I enjoyed my whole life since 12. Now I not only gave that up but even the ability to touch my own little penis. Its a sacrifice she demands and so I will be obedient, I love her so much! And oddly or understandably I am happier being her sissy than I have ever been trying to be anything else.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

a new level of humiliation

Weekend before last we were in a city a few hours away celebrating valentines day. We stayed in a nice hotel and had a very nice time Friday night with a yummy seafood dinner. It was fun and kind of romantic. Saturday night we were heading out to our favorite restaurant in the city. I was unlocked and feeling good, we were feeling romantic and loving. We went to the hotel bar before heading out to dinner. Goddess met a cute guy and the 3 of us chatted. We were in a couch type area and eventually another couple joined us. Goddess full attention was on the single man as I chatted with the couple. I was feeling kind of sheepish at this point as goddess was obviously very into the guy and I am pretty sure everyone there knew it. I was glad as we got up to leave, we were heading to a bar before dinner. Goddess gave the man her number telling him to text her if he had time to stop by the bar before we left for dinner. At this point again I am glad we are leaving, I do enjoy her being with other men, it turns me on but in this case her affection towards this guy was both emasculating and humiliating being our celebration night and in front of this other couple. We got to the bar and it was a fun live music steak dinner kind of place. We were really enjoying it when the guy showed up and had brought the couple with him. At this point I am still thinking we are heading to dinner soon, so I am not as concerned. We all sit again in a couch type place and again she is siting next to and chatting with the guy. At some point she suggests "hey lets just all eat here". So I call the restaurant and cancel our week old reservation at our favorite restaurant. We had already told them all this was our celebration for valentines at this great restaurant. At this point I was completely humiliated and goddess was all in. She sat next to him at dinner leaving the seat next to me empty. She spent her time chatting with him, giving him her full attention. One person at the restaurant mistook him for her husband and she enjoyed it. Actually anyone not in our group probably assumed they were together. Eventually they got up and danced. Goddess very much enjoyed this, the public display of her power and his attention. When the band stopped we all left and went to another bar. I offered to head to the hotel and wait for her but she wanted me to come along. It continued at the new bar though they decided not to dance they chatted happily and enjoyed each other. Eventually around 130 I offered that it might be time to call it a night and they agreed. We walked and they talked eventually parting reluctantly. He was too shy and she too unsure to ask him up or her to his place. So we headed up to the room. We snuggled and fell asleep quickly. I was glad to be holding her, at last she was mine again.

This is me in my new tag, it was a valentines present to goddess. I call her mommy most of the time, it is an affectionate way of recognizing her dominance. It is currently away being adjusted. When it returns I expect it will be part of me for much of my time.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

chastity, pleasuring and realizations

Last night I pleasured goddess all night with my fingers and tongue. She was mostly subdued like she was getting a back rub, she didn't cum. She just layed back enjoying hours of me licking her ass hole, pushing my face deep in her cheeks as she reclined on her side snacking and binge watching her favorite show. Or sucking a boob and rubbing her pussy as she layed straight back and watched her show snacking and drinking. She payed little attention to me sexually or made any noise like a woman in sexual bliss, save the occasional sigh of enjoyment. She spoke to me in loving terms and treated me quite normally. Truth is I think the sexual turn on and sexual need is very much second to the power and worship she felt from my attention. It has become clear, to both of us I think, she is very much enjoying her sense of power control and my need for her. This gets her wet and makes her desire my attention. She isnt like the stories you read, she isnt craving big cocks or actual sex, though I think she is thinking more about it than before. What she does really enjoy is my need, my humiliation and making me crazy with desire for her. At the end of the night she would not let me rub my pantied little penis against her sexy booty and cum as she lay there drifting off. Instead when she new I was close she rolled away and told me I had to do it myself. I had not cum in a week so I was grateful for any release at all. She is upset I haven't been in my cage this week due to a health issue. So I rubbed myself off while she called me her poor anxious little sissy and giggled. I came in my panties. The cage goes back on Sunday night with no definite release date. I have a feeling this one will last longer than a week. 

Goddess wants me to get a tag for my cage like the one below. Mommy is my pet name for her when she is being soft and loving, like last night.

Spontaneous ejaculation

So I have been caged by goddess for a while now, with days out of it for good behavior. I am allowed to look at porn. I was home one afternoon looking at porn i had been in my cage for sometime. I got a tingly feeling in my balls like an orgasm was nearing. Goddess texted and told me to go ahead and cum inside my cage. It was really quite amazing in a way. No shaking the cage or vibrating the cage just looking at porn, thinking of her, feeling very much a sissy and it built to the point of no return. The video above is a snippet of the video I made for goddess, part of her text required this. When it happened it was almost like peeing at first, just cum oozing out then a kind of intense feeling of my balls contracting but really not much of an orgasm, not much relief and not the joyous crescendo of a yummy orgasm, Just a kind of pressure release valve triggered and an oozing of cum. I was still horny for sure. It happened once again since. I worry now that goddess knows this is possible how long will she extend my days being caged?

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


So my new chastity device arrived today. I have had cb6000 for some time but never really got the hang of wearing it and frankly when I did it wasnt attractive. Its too big, go figure, my penis slips out the crack and it makes my balls ache. Plus the plastic just isnt attractive. But it didnt really matter as Goddess wasnt that into it either and never insisted I wear it. Until recently, Goddess has a renewed interest in chastity, she saw some pics on my tumblr feed and was smitten with the idea. I know sounds like the plot of how many porn stories, she saw it on my porn history, tumblr feed etc...but there you have it. So I shopped for something I would find more comfortable and she would find attractive. Enter the bird cage by mature metals. Very sexy metal design, she loved it. So after 5 weeks of hand crafting it arrived today and its on me now.
So first off, way more comfortable than the cb. Second it looks like it fits me, as small as I am and you can get them even smaller but only by 1/2" which I could have but I wanted a little room to stretch for his little morning chubby. Of course in no way can I reach my full 3.5" hardness but thats the point right? Btw if you do order one of these get the sizing rings to get the right fit, I would have had no idea but with the rings I think I did well. You can customize length, girth, rings they build it just for you which I really liked. Very helpful answering questions as well, I had too many but sissy's are prone to asking a lot of questions right?

So now how do I feel. Initially it is very erotic. It is holding my penis which has now started to fill the cage more fully. But I am unable to touch myself so I cant fully enjoy the eroticism and now the reality of denial is starting to set in. The ability to rub my penis in my panties is gone, you have no idea how much I love doing that....looking at porn and rubbing.....its gone.

I will update of course. Also our Bull has re-entered the picture. Goddess is interested in him playing some role in further sissifying me. I have no idea what the role for him will be but I hope it involves me sucking his magnificent cock.

Monday, January 16, 2017

the new normal or maybe just normal...

So last weekend we had one of those chats again. You know where my sissy angst gets the best of me and I try to say I deserve more, I need more. And she is good, as always she listens and we talk. I bargain, asking for more not even sure what it is I want, just more sex - sexuality etc.. trying to find more satisfaction for myself. Then she begins to laugh, more like a giggle...doesnt say anything just looks and giggles...while I am talking - considering I am fully dressed it catches me off guard. So I stop and ask whats so funny. She looks at me and says "look.... you have a tiny penis, so just be happy youre getting anything at all and thank me". So two things happen. I feel ashamed and aroused. My mind starts to process, anger, sadness, arousal, little penis is way ahead and begins tingling and amazingly starts to firm up (I dont get hard very often these days and to begin to do it without her touching it surprises me). I realize she is right, its been decided and agreed on long ago what the reality. But I always seem to forget, it isnt just a game and the reality of it never fails to arouse me terribly.

So I want to thank the two readers who reached out to encourage me. One in a comment on my last post and one who emailed me at the address up top. It is nice to know folks read these things and enjoy hearing about our lives. The new cage has not arrived yet which is fine with me. I am not anxious to be locked up. She is already letting slip in small bites that she is looking for this to be semi permanent. I will miss touching my little penis, rubbing it against her, rubbing it myself in some nice soft panties....sigh. But she loves the idea and I know this one is already lost. I will as requested post a picture of my in it and her holding my caged little penis. The picture I included for no particular reason other than I thought it was incredibly hot.....and would I rather be with her abot to fuck her or be her about to get fucked.....